So for the whole summer, or better yet said since I noticed him at the gym, I had a crush on this guy, I wasn't sure if he was gay or not, but I do know he was very cute, I also once saw him reading a medical CPR book so i knew he was into medicine. turns out that he finally asked me out it was great we watched a movie held hands no kissing action which I loved cause I feel it never appropriate. txt me days later second date spent a sunday boating. Then I discovered in the getting to know you portion that he is in medical school. The romantic in me immediately though of Mc Steamy, truth is Im not the dating around type, I have always been the one to secretly just want to find my soulmate and live life. Truth is it hasent ever been like that, I was a late bloomer, lost my virginity to him, hand unhappiness and eventually realized that he wasnt my soulmate and that he wasnt marriage material. So here i am mis super independent that keeps meeting the wrong guys and dreaming with them being the one. I suck at dating, but i have been thru enough to see this one comming. Its going on week two and maybe I am being a little premie here but I know why I am single, and if i am going to keep playing this dating game then i need to figure out why mr. is still single and if why he is single factor is what i can fill and cure then thats what it takes to be a soulmate. I am tired of conforming to the other persons flaws and pretending like it is something i am willing to deal with when really I'm not. I secretly wish it didnt exist or that it would just disapear. Back to Mr. Med student, now why would a good lucking, atletic, sweet, gentle, smart man still be up for grabs? He is in Med School and truth is he doesn't have the time to be making out with me on the couch of his apartment. playing hooky from work to have steamy morning sex. He saves lives. Now back to the time line, granted that week one we went out twice, txt in between, chatted briefly on the phone. this week we sorta had plans to meet, which never happened, I didn't even see him in a class we take, and yes I understand, we haven't had out first kiss yet, so that means we are extremely fragile. Now this is the part were I get a cookie, because before things heat up, before my body realizes hormones during wild pasionate sex (yes I read the blog where Med students are great in bed because they are conditiontioned to cater to others needs) Do i really want to get invoveld with someone who has no time for me because of legit causes. I didnt know what my uneasyness was toward what seems to be the perfect guy, I mean this week (week two) I txt he text back told me how he was being overworked but still hope to see me, and then txt an apology of why he was disconected which once again i thought was so sweet. So I googled dating a Med student and I was pleased to what came up, realistically I don't know him, would love to be the girl that cooks and does his laundry, sleeps in his bed to keep him warm during his rotations and hope to be poked when he returns. Part of me is saying the idea of him being away at the library while i persue my own dreams and goals. Because yes I am not in Med School but my design work is pretty demanding its all i do, think about and spend my time doing, that and the gym and my dog, which seems to be what his life is about. But this is not about meshing my life with his, this is about me being honest with myself , is this really what i want or am i just settleing because i sounds good. Let rationalize here, I know i am tired of being single and of dating mr wrong, and planning out our future that will crash and burn, but it has only been two weeks and i already have wondered he is banging someone else? But the truth is he isn't and that makes me more attracted to him, I do want to be that girl who cooks and takes you lunch cause I know you are busy, I just hope you give me a chance to get to know me. I think everytime i meet a guy and think wow this is the one that is going to take me off the shelf comes around I really need to think what is he going to teach me to better my life and what i really want from someone.